AKA Plane Dead
“Your ‘Side Effects’ have eaten half the passengers!”
In simple terms, Snakes on a Plane. But with zombies. Certainly not the greatest Zombie flick in history, or even in recent years, but reasonably enjoyable.
Cryogenic zombie being transported in passenger jet. Lightning strikes plane…. off we go!
US Jocks on their way to a surfing holiday – in Paris, (hmm) get eaten. Nun gets eaten, but doesn’t get to go Ninja-Nun on some zombie ass beforehand, OR even eat anyone else as a Zombie Nun! (Wasted opportunity). Japanese man gets turned into a zombie while wearing his seatbelt, and spends the film sat there trying to bite passengers from his seat. (And even tries to eat a whole fighter jet. As you do).
Sounds brilliant, yes, but really lacking in the primary areas of trashy zombie films – gore and norks. The gore consists of just blood being sprayed everywhere. Very little actual munching or gory bits. Guy does get his head knocked away with a golf club, and some legs get ripped off, but that’s it though. Very tame. Also, what’s going on with the couple sneaking off to the lav for a quickie, but then just cutting to them returning to their seats! (Even Snakes On A Plane managed a nookie scene). Dear o’ dear.
If you’re making a trashy zombie film, it needs the trash.
Gore Score – 2/5
Norks Score – 0.5/5
Overall Score – 3/5
Low on trash, but still enjoyable.
Apparently, a Zombie computer is one that has been recruited into what’s known as a botnet by way of viruses, Trojan horses, worms, and the like. Hmm, I smell a tenuous link.
Knowing about Zombie computers = geeky. Geeky = geekoclock.blogspot.com . A blog run by a colleague, who I believe is not actually a zombie himself, but it is hard to tell sometimes.
Right. Back to the movies again.
AKA Cemetery Man.
For my first film, I present Dellamorte Dellamore, a particularly surreal entry into the Zombie archive. It is the classic story of a man and his dribbly friend, going a bit mental. With Zombies, gore, and a topless re-materialising widow.
Dellamorte and Gnaghi (aforementioned dribbly) bury corpses, then when they ‘return’ from the ground, send them back to their graves, usually via pistol shot to the head, but also with spade decapitations, and other death using standard graveyard paraphernalia. It then goes particularly bizarre, with Dellamorte, tired of waiting for the dead to return, deciding to dispatch them before they have even died, before ending up inside a snow-globe. As you do.
Classic scenes :
Dellamorte boffing a (rather impressively chested) young lady on the grave of her widow (who doesn’t take to kindly to this encounter). A biker buried on his bike soaring out his grave on his machine. An accidently decapitated head crawling after Gnaghi and living in his broken TV. And of course, said head flying through the air, teeth gnashing, into the neck of her father. Yum yum.
Don’t try to figure out the meaning behind the plot. It’s just a surreal load of tosh. Therefore it is excellent.
There. This is probably how this blog will continue, although as I get better at Photoshop the pictures quality should improve. (The writing will still be waffle though.)
So, this is Trioxin : Devouring the flesh of the living. Yes it’s long-winded, but it gets the point across : mixing terms from 2 classic Zombie movies must mean that this blog is about those rotten cemetery-dwellers. And that would be right.
The basic premise here is that I have acquired a growing obsession with all things zombie, and need an outlet to vent. I could just rant on to friends and colleagues about the fantastic mess of a Zombie movie I recently watched, but it seems these people do not share my enthusiasm! Honestly, what is up with the world, eh?
Soooo, I’ve begun this blog. I intend to collect as many Undead films as there are in existence. I will voluntarily fill shelves and shelves in my flat with video and DVD zombie crud. (And i’m well on my way already!) When I watch any of these films I shall detail in these pages what on earth was going on in these films, as a means to keep track of my collection.
