AKA Dead Alive
Having watched Zombie Holocaust and only rating it 4 for gore, it got me wondering what it would take for a film to actually hit the 5 that all Zombie films should be aspire to. This pondering lasted for ooh, at least 5 seconds, as I realised I had this gem on my shelf just waiting another viewing. Could my memory have decieved me and Braindeads’ gore factor been imagined, or was I right in remembering that it is the benchmark that all splatter is marked against?
Oh how right I was to trust my own opinion – Braindead is fantastic. Although rather slow to start, come 30 minutes and the ridiculous gore comes a-pourin’. Skin is ripped off, dogs devoured whole, priests kick ass (for the lord) against zombie bikers, and numerous limbs and heads go flying.
And how could I forget the intestine-zombie, the zombie baby, the priest:nurse love-in, a tasty pus and ear custard pudding, rat monkeys, and especially the classic lawnmower death.
For a film to get 5\5 from me without a single nork shot must mean it’s fantastic. What else is there to say
Gore 5\5
Norks 0\5
Overall 5\5
AKA Doctor Butcher MD
I have chosen another 70’s Italian zombie flick here, mainly from having watched a lot of modern crud and realising the Italians pretty much hit the formula spot on, 30 years ago. (This formula being great non-CGI gore, stupid looking Zombie makeup made of clay and moss, and pointless gratuitous norks a plenty).
Zombie Holocaust seems to be a greatest hits of zombie scenes from this era, except it seems to include plenty of Cannibals, and very little in the way of zombies, which is frankly a tad disappointing.
However, onto the important part : The Gore. There is plenty of cannibal organ munching, some impressive eye gouging, a few severed limbs, some scalping’s, the odd impaling, and a wonderful zombie face vs boat propeller (a film highlight). Top this off with the required nork scenes (painted up with hippy flowers) and you’ve got a pretty impressive film.
Obviously the plot is pure bumf, and just an excuse to get the characters onto the zombie island ready to be slaughtered, but then that’s all you really need. I’ll watch COMMANDO if I’m looking for a film with a decent plot. If it’s nonsense gore and zombies, I’ll take that any day.
Gore Score 4\5
Norks Score 3\5
Overall Score 3.5\5 (Would be a 4 if the zombies actually did something, rather than just stand around groaning).
AKA Burial Ground \ Zombie 3 \ Le Notti Del Terrore.
So, Italian Zombie movies are pretty much all great. Having sat through many modern Zombie films i’ve had a hankerin’ for some quality, and having never seen this baby I thought I’d give it a go.
There are plenty of Zombies here, almost all of them are smarter than the humans. Honestly, if you knew Zombies were bashing down your front door with a battering ram, would you stand by the door watching, only running away once they break through? Morons! Bashing zombies in the shoulder with plastic candlestick holders, or sitting in the corner of a room full of Zombies with only a broomstick for company instead of walking out the room means all these dumbasses deserve all they get. Especially as these Zombies carry weapons, including a Scythe.
However, the main highlight here is having a (presumably) 30 year old midget wierdo cast as a teenage, incestuous, nipple eating freak. Pure genius! Probably the only Zombie film i’ve with gore, zombies, and incest.
Gore Score – 3\5
Norks Score – 3\5
Overall Score – 4\5
