Right, I feel it’s about time I try out something new here.  Up until now I’ve seen big-budget Hollywood horror, foreign language zombie flicks, gory comedies, and the ubiquitous shot-on-video fan productions.  Where else can this genre go?  How about a one-man production, animated, OTT zombie gorefest?  Well here we go.  Frank Sudol pretty much single-handedly put this little number together.  And by single handed I mean he directed, voice acted, designed, animated, scored, edited, produced, scripted, and just generally did EVERYTHING.  That is one hard-working dude!

City of Rott tells the story of Fred, one of the few survivors of an apocalyptical zombie plague as he wanders around town looking for a new pair of slippers.  With only a talking walking-frame for comfort, Fred plods around buildings, bridges and streets fighting off all the hundreds (maybe even thousands) of the walking dead using his badass ninja moves, as well as just clobbering them over the head with his walker.  Well, mostly just using the walker. (he is pretty old, after all).  He does meet several nutjob survivors along the way, but they either want to just nail themselves into wooden boxes, or just get out of the city all together.  Neither of these are options for Fred because they don’t involve him finding new loafers.

For the first 50 minutes or so of the film all that basically happens is that Fred moves from setpiece to setpiece, bashing in Zombie skulls with his handy walking frame.  This is all well and good.  Gore flies liberally around, there is some comedy, and even a little bit of plot!  However, when Fred starts to realise his predicament thing start to turn somewhat sour (for both Fred and the film itself).  The final 20 minutes seems like an entirely different add-on, with several new characters thrown in that were never around beforehand, and a bizarre sidestory which suggests that the cure for all this zombism lies in Donuts.  (Mmm, donuts!).

However, the majority of the film is pretty decent.  Once I got used to the cartoon style effect (which reminded me of an old childhood cartoon - Ivor the Engine) I started to sit back and appreciate this movie.  OK, the story isn’t much deeper than a (bloody) puddle, and nothing much happens for the majority of the film, but there is a lot to enjoy.  Cartoon gore and some great nods to Romero (for example a poster on the mall wall states “At Night, Dawn Day will sing This Land”!), as well as some digs at consumerism and how we are all turning into automatons for trying to be just like everyone else.  Plus it gets bonus points for being a fanboy flick that doesn’t just involve the director getting some mates together and throwing some fake blood on them.  Frank actually put A LOT of effort into this, and it shows.

Gore Score B
Norks Score F
Originality Score C
Overall Score C

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)

Now, I was thinking of just doing a 1-line review for this movie, along the lines of “Day of the Dead - easily the best Romero Zombie film”, but it appears that (as is often the case), people don’t seem to agree with me despite the fact that I am always right.  So apparently I will have to justify this claim.  Now, all of his zombie movies are pretty spot-on (yes, even Land of the Dead, while not a patch on the others is still far superior to most other zombie films), and I am sure most people would more-or-less agree.  Where I am in the minority is in my knowledge that with Day, George got everything pretty much spot-on.

The characters in Day are much more interesting than the Night or Dawn chaps.  Tell me that Flyboy doesn’t annoy the bezeesus out of you, or that you don’t want to leave Barbra out for all the monochrome zombies to devour just to shut her up?  With Day, the only character who is nearly as irritating is Captain Rhodes, but this is acceptable as we are supposed to hate him, and we both want and expect him to get his comeuppance.  He’s the bad guy, for gawds sake!

With Day of the Dead, the gore effects that were trialed out on NOTLD, and were given a bit of a budget (and tested out in colour) in Dawn reached their peak in Day.  The zombies don’t look like they are made of plasticine as they do in Dawn, and they do not utilise cheap looking CGI as in Land of the Dead.  How often have you seen effects from this film ripped off and mimicked in more recent movies?  Rhodes’ death itself is so iconic it’s been copied to death!

And then there is the story.  Night of the Living Dead is your typical siege film, locked in a building with no escape and plenty of infighting.  Dawn is a meandering tale that takes an age to get going and tries to encompass the whole of society, but in the end is too caught up with anti-consumerism and has far too many characters resulting in a rather disjointed affair.  Day of the Dead discusses the utter futility of life itself.  Here the whole of human existence is condensed into one location, one generation and a few short weeks.  Should we spend our existence fighting for survival, studying and trying to find a purpose to life, or simply sitting back and making the most of what you have?

To delve even deeper into the sociological metaphors, here the military take on the role of the politicians, the scientists as the philosophers and the civilians are the proletariat.  A condensed yet concise slice of society.

Anyway, this is getting a bit too ‘film studies’ now.  It is a great movie because the story, characters and effects are superb.  There are numerous memorable set pieces, fantastic music throughout, and it is a thoroughly consistent film from start to finish.  This is his best film for these, and many more reasons, just accept it eh?

Gore Score B+
Norks Score F
Originality Score C
Overall Score A

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)
Zombie movies, possibly the most versatile genre in horror.  Ranging from comedy, drama, satire, straight up horror, even Zombie Musicals, there are always new and interesting interpretations of these tales.  Currently we are experiencing a period of Zombie Documentaries, which is the category American Zombie probably falls into.  However that would unfairly suggest comparisons with “Zombie Diaries” or “Diary of the Dead”, both of which take a more Cinematic, rather than Journalistic approach that American Zombie utilises.

It is very much a documentary in structure employing interviews rather than standard character storytelling.  The film focuses of 4 high-functioning Revenants, each of whom are dealing with their undead status in different ways.  The 2 documentarians follow these zombies and interview them about their daily lives, how they are treated and what their expectations of life are.  Of the 2 directors, Solomon more interested in the ‘guts and gore’ angle, whereas Grace wants to present a snapshot of life as a zombie without all the exploitation.  Their filming takes them to a zombies only festival ‘Live Dead’, where the film changes from a standard documentary about the zombies into a horror film in which the filmmakers themselves take centre-stage.

The film is an interesting one, yet again showing the versatility of the undead genre.  In this case the zombies are representative of any minority group, although being undead we feel no guilt in assuming them as an underclass.  This allows the viewer to arc from disgust through to acceptance, a feat which would be harder to achieve had a standard minority group scenario been under discussion.

Anyway, enough intellectualising.  I loved the zombie hunting private-eye, who discusses (and demonstrates) in detail all his favourite methods of dispatching those pesky zombies, and the whole 2nd half of the movie set in the hippy festival was particularly creepy.  However, I side with co-director John Solomon - where’s all the gore and flesh eating?  Pah! Honestly, it may have quality acting, genuine originality and believable character development but it’s no C.H.U.D.

Gore Score D
Norks Score F
Originality Score A
Overall Score B

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)

Like most people I have often wondered what happens when a Zombie needs to use the lav, and finally I have found a film than answers this puzzler. Apparently they just crap on the grass and leave it there. Honestly, they don’t even have the decency to clean up after themselves! No wonder they’ve got a bad reputation.

Whether or not zombies poo is not the only question that gets answered here.

• What do you do if your wife loves to sleep with loads of other men while you watch, but the supply of healthy humans are dwindling due to the overwhelming population of zombies? Why, you invite a bunch of mostly healthy army dudes into you house and rotate them in the bedroom, obviously.

• What happens if your sister-in-law has a Kuato-like siamese twin growing out of her stomach? Well, you let one of the army guys romance ‘both’ of them.

• And finally, what do you do if all the sex your wife is getting with army guys is getting you down? Simple - you keep a naked female zombie tied up in your shed and you try out some necrophilia.

Yes, this is not your standard ‘hiding out in a house while zombies attack’ siege film. There is a lot more going on here than just humans killing the undead. It starts off badly, with some of the worst acting I have ever seen in a SOV zombie film (and that’s saying something), along with the standard fanboy idea of referencing classic zombie films to name your characters. (However bonus points for not having a Romero or Savini here, but going with ‘Matool’ instead.) However, things soon pick up when Matool gets into a fight with a Zombie on a car bonnet and dispatches him by hammering a 12″ nail into his forehead. As a technique it’s pretty unusual, yet highly effective. Sadly for Matool he gets kidnapped and taken back to a farmhouse where he is expected to engage in some kinky bedroom antics with the kidnappers wife, while being spanked with a ruler by the wife’s retarded sister. Unusual.

Soon some army boys turn up, having been attacked by some hyperzombies (stronger and faster than usual zombies), and they all move into this house and take turns with the wife! Naturally, things start going bad and jealous infighting begins, coupled with the zombies attacking anyone who sets foot outside the house. (Well, it wouldn’t be a zombie film without some gut munching). The survivors have to decide whether to make a run for it, or whether to try to remain at the house for all the perks found therein.

It’s an unusual movie for sure, with some pretty original ideas. The gore - when it happens - is also not too bad for a film obviously shot on the ultra cheap. However, the (surprisingly) minimal nudity and godawful acting from the majority of the characters does spoil things somewhat. Still, I love that the film tries something different, all while not taking itself too seriously. This is a good thing.

Gore Score C
Norks Score C
Originality Score B-
Overall Score C+

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)Picked up 2nd hand in the bargain bin of a local video games store, I didn’t hold out much hope for this movie.  It looks very mainstream, has a ‘celebrity’ on the cover and was ultra cheap for a pretty modern film.  However, as a Zombie fan I felt it was my duty to give it a try.  It is also one of the less trashy offensive films that I would be able to force the missus to sit through, which is what I did.

It starts off slowly, with some boring guff about some school kids who are apparently big losers, but all look like they are in their early 30’s.  One of these ‘kids’ has a crush on Samantha Mumba but is too wimpy to do anything about it.  After assuming she’s rejected him he goes home and pretends to hang himself, but his mother walks in and accidentally finishes the job for him.  Luckily by means of ultra-fast montage she’s able to resurrect him using some medieval books from her local church, but finds that one of the pages in the book is missing, and the Resurrection has some rather awkward side effects - a hunger for human flesh and the ability to turn the living into the walking dead.  Oh well.

It starts off all teeny rubbish as expected, but when the zombies start attacking it gets surprisingly gory (if suffering repeatedly from the dreaded ‘cutaway kill’ that plague most mainstream zombie films).  Limbs are severed, eyes fall out, heads are ripped off, and in the films highlight a bunch of zombies are mown down with a tractor/plow/combine harvester contraption, causing instant reminders of Braindead.

However, it is not Braindead that I was reminded of the most during this film, but the German ‘comedy’ Night of the Living Dorks.  School kids accidently infected but not instantly evil, school crushes, super strength, and even a cure for the infection all pop up in both these films.  It’s probably all coincidence as none of these are original ideas, but I still couldn’t stop thinking of the superior German effort throughout this movie.

Easily watchable and inoffensive.  If it didn’t go OTT with the gore it would just be a boring teen flick, but there was enough guts on display to give this film an 18 Certificate in the UK, which is usually a good sign by me.

Gore Score B-
Norks Score F
Originality Score C
Overall Score C-

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)AKA Horror Of The Zombies

Yeah, mid-way through another well deserved week off work but the only Zombie film i’ve managed to get through is this number, the 3rd in the Blind Dead quadrilogy.  I really should try harder.  Well, there are still several days left to fill with zombie crud!

The Ghost Galleon - When even the box of a film says it is considered a ’surprising’ film warning bells should really start to sound.  Whereas the first 2 Blind Dead films take place around atmospheric ruined medieval cities this particular entry involves an obviously fake miniature galleon ship, which I assume we are supposed to believe is a full size vessel.

A couple of bikini-clad ladies involved in some marketing scam of some sort are left adrift in a little powerboat for about a month apparently, and although they do not seem to have any supplies on-board they seem perfectly happy, spending their time chatting on their radio to their bosses on the shore somewhere.  However a mysterious fog from another dimension sweeps over them and they crash into the ghostly galleon.  Sensibly, one of the ladies decides that an abandoned and ancient rotting sailboat is a better place to wait out the rescue, so she climbs aboard never to be seen again, (although we do hear her screaming for a bit).  Her girly companion decided to remain on the smaller boat and doesn’t hear the screaming, but then still decides to go aboard to investigate later.

Oh yes, the Templar knights are aboard this boat for some reason. In traditional Blind Dead style they spend 10 minutes slowly rising from their coffins before slowly chasing the girl around the ship.  That’s pretty much it.  Her friends and boss from the shore do fly out to the ship to try to find them and manage to locate the inter-dimensional galleon, but it all ends badly for most of them as you would expect.

I don’t really want to spoil the ending here, but the ship burns down and the survivors float to shore, although the Zombie have followed them…  Actually, that was the ending.  Still, this review makes it sound like slightly more happens in this movie than really does.  Zombies slowly chase women.  Women die.  Ship burns.  People escape.  Zombies escape too, ready for film number 4.

Easily the most boring entry into the series so far (i’m yet to see #4 though).  The gore is practically non-existent, there are no norks on show despite the overabundance of bikini clad ladies, and the plot is equally as desolate.  Still, it’s always good to see  Skeletor and friends in action, and the film did keep me watching for some reason.  I just wonder if the final film finishes the series on a high.

Gore Score D
Norks Score F
Originality Score C
Overall Score C-

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)One of the classic discussions regarding the 28 days\weeks films is of their legitimacy as Zombie films.  There are numerous pseudo-zombie flicks that I love but would not include in this Blog as they don’t meet the criteria.  Cronenbergs ‘Shivers’ & ‘Rabid’ or the recent ‘I Am Legend’ are such examples, and don’t get me started on The Evil Dead series.  (Why people think of these as Zombie films is beyond me.  They’re people possessed by evil demonic spirits, Sheesh!).  With 28 days\weeks later the decision is tougher.  Yes, they’re still officially alive and yes, they run and don’t shamble.  Also, they apparently die of malnutrition which I don’t recall happening in any other zombie flick.

However, plenty of zombies in movie history have been created by a virus gone wrong, and plenty of zombies race around instead of shuffling like walking corpses.  And besides, if they were bona fide zombies how would either film be any different?  They attack people without prejudice, they can infect the living to become one of them, and the survivors have to hide out, fight or try to escape.  Pretty standard Zombie film methodology if you ask me.  Dead or undead the same would happen.

So, Zombie film credentials met, what about the quality of the film itself?  Well, it starts out with a siege in a boarded up house, people get chased and eaten and a lone survivor flees to safety.  It is then established that the whole zombie plague had encompassed the entire UK, and once the infected bodies have died from hunger the American army are called in to oversee the re-population of the country.  However, predictably this doesn’t go too well.

The whole film is basically a thinly veiled critique of American army politics.  They treat the remaining humans as little more than cattle, part of an assignment that they have no real belief in.  But hey, what else are Zombie films for if not a little satire here and there?

The gore is pretty good for such a mainstream movie - particularly the gruesome helicopter mutilation scene.  The opening siege is also amazing, and the transformation scene from human-to-zombie is probably the best I’ve ever seen.  Coupled with some quality action and decent direction this is a pretty impressive entry into the market.  Whether or not it beats the first film is debatable, and personally I tend to change my mind depending on which one I’ve seen the most recently.  This sequel is a more cohesive movie and certainly doesn’t rip off as much from Day Of The Dead as the first.  But heck, they are both decent movies. - They’re certainly zombie films, just lacking in actual ‘proper’ zombies.

Gore Score B
Norks Score C
Originality Score C
Overall Score B

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)

I love my Asian zombie films.  Junk and Bio-zombie were reasonably decent if rather cliched, while Wild Zero and Stacy were full on classics.  Then there is Versus - a Zombie film I’ve had on my shelf for some time now waiting for an appropriate time-slot for viewing.  Well, that time arrived the other day after our guests had left the house for the night and my housemate and I were sat wondering what to watch that would suit our alcohol content.  (ie lots of wine\cider).

After the standard battle we usually have with foreign language DVDs (spoken language with subtitles or dubbed into English? - we went the subtitle route) we chilled out ready to enjoy some zombie fighting action.  Well, what we got was a whole film of choreographed gun battles and martial arts, with a few token zombie thrown into the mix.  The story is tosh - some nameless gang dudes kidnap another nameless woman and meet an escaped (nameless) prisoner in a forest.  The prisoner and woman escape into the trees just as the living dead (who have been buried there by the aforementioned gang) return to life.  Now we have loads of gunshots, fights and cool slow-mo posing for the entirety of the film.  Sure, the fights are pretty cool and some of the gunfights are well put together, but that is all that goes on for about 2 hours.  It got so repetitive that my housemate fell asleep and started snoring by the end of it. 

Not that this was a bad film, it was just more John Woo than George Romero, with not nearly enough originality or zombie gut munching to satisfy me.  Maybe I was just expecting a different sort of film, an I may enjoy it on a martial arts gunfight action level next time I watch it.  Oh well, I think I’ll just go watch ‘Stacy’ again instead.

Gore Score C
Norks Score F
Originality Score D
Overall Score C

I am almost embarrassed to admit that I saw this version of Dawn of the Dead before I ever watched the Romero original.  Yes it’s disgraceful, but I feel I have somewhat made up for this by the sheer geek that I have become for this genre.  A lot of time, and an excessive zombie collection later and I can approach DOTD2004 with a new mindset.  Would I enjoy it as much as I did sat in the cinema 4 years ago?

Well for a start, the opening 15 minutes is possibly one of the greatest scenes in zombie movie history.  Radio reports hinting at the impending doom lead knowingly up to the initial house siege - where a young girl with her face chewed up attacks a husband and wife in their own bedroom.  The husband is bitten and dies in a plume of blood and instantly turns on his wife, who races for cover in her bathroom and eventually claws her way out of the window and onto her lawn.  Here we get an amazing panning shot over her shoulder taking in the carnage that is unfolding in the local suburb.  She takes the car, pursued by her zombie husband who tries to smash his way through the windscreen before he gets distracted by a nearby resident who is still alive.  She drives away, cars crashing and people being eaten all around her before crashing through a road barrier and into a tree.  Strewth, that’s quite an opening!

One of the most commercial Zombie films to date, and one that no Zombie fan would say they were particularly excited about when it was announced, Dawn of the Dead 2004 was actually quite a surprise.  The only real similarity to the original is that it takes place in a shopping mall.  That’s pretty much it.  What we have here is a large bunch of characters locked in the mall and sticking it out until they really need to get the hell out of there.

So, it appears that I can’t get enough of this movie, but that’s not entirely the case.  The running zombies are not ones that I’m particularly fond of.  They seem more like angry humans than reanimated corpses.  The whole story of the pregnant couple is just ludicrous and seems totally out of place, and there are far too many characters here to keep track of.  However, it’s action all the way and never outstays its welcome.  I’ll even go so far as to say that it’s more enjoyable that the Romero original!  But hey, that’s not even anywhere near his best one - Day of the Dead.  Man, I love that film too.  Must get around to watching it for this blog.

Gore Score B-
Norks Score C
Originality Score D
Overall Score B+

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)
Themes of morality, conformity, alienation, existentialism and political satire are just what I would expect to feature in a film called ‘Zombie Strippers’. Ha ha, Who am I kidding! Strippers turning into zombies is all I was looking for in this beauty, but there was plenty more than that on offer in this wee number, philosophy and all.

Now apparently this film is based loosely on a French play ‘Rhinoceros’ about a town whose population slowly turn into rhino’s, but being the uncultured slob that I am I’ve never heard of it, although it’s a pretty big deal in the world of the Theatre of the Absurd, apparently. It’s certainly an interesting idea on which to base a Zombie horror film, but to be honest I was only watching it for the stripper zombies, so the influences didn’t really matter to me.

As is the often the case these days, the government have been experimenting with chemicals and dead bodies in order to produce a race of super strength soldiers, but completely unexpectedly this goes wrong somewhere down the line and a load of Zombies are produced. A special soldier unit is called in to exterminate the living dead, but one of them gets bitten and runs off, taking refuge in an underground illegal strip club. This is the setting for the whole rest of the film, as the soldier bites star-dancer Jenna Jameson and turns her into an Undead Stripper Zombie, a side effect being an ultra sexy stripper dance and a lusting for human flesh. The Zombies dance for the punters, punters get eaten and turn into neanderthal undead while the female zombies remain intelligent and feisty to the end.

The whole film was a lot less trashy that I was expecting, with some great dialogue as the Strippers quote philosophy and discuss morality, and Robert Englund the strip club owner tries to find a way to profit from this whole debacle, while keeping the whole ‘Murderous Zombie’ aspect a secret from the general punters - although it starts becoming obvious that the dancers are no longer technically ‘Live Nudes’ any more, but rotting-corpse lapdancers. The humour is reasonably decent, the gore is great and often rather gross (which is certainly a good thing) and the nork count is obviously through the roof. Cleverly written, pretty original and totally unexpected considering the genius movie title. Who would have expected Nietzsche-spouting strippers discussing the merits of grotesque body modification? Genius stuff and one I shall certainly be watching again, with (several) beers in hand.

Gore Score B
Norks Score A
Originality Score B+
Overall Score B+