Zombie Movie Review: Wasting Away (AKA Aaah! Zombies!!)

AKA Aaah! Zombies!!

This film is showing on Netflix Instant US. Visit Blog of the Living Dead for details

Ah, the old ‘chemical experiments on recruits to create a new breed of super-soldiers’ plot. The current standard for zombie films. Can’t we kick off another Cold War or have a new Nuclear Arms Race or something? Anything just to get a new idea for reanimating the dead.

At least Wasting Away tries to do something reasonably original, that is by infecting the stars with zombism – via neon green zombie beer ice-cream no less – without their knowing. Yes, these 4 losers have become zombies and don’t even realise it. They see each-other as full-on normal chaps, but to everyone else they are the walking dead. This is done quite cleverly by showing the scenes of the main stars in colour, while whenever anyone else glances at them the film switches to black-and-white and we see them as they really are – veiny, shuffling members of the undead.

As unique as this sounds for a film it does present some problems. The first minor issue is that blood and gore looks a lot more exciting when it’s in colour. Secondly – and this is the main problem – having one unusual interesting idea is not really enough to base an entire movie on. Oh yes, it’s all good and fun the first couple of times the camera switches to Black and White and we see them transposed as zombies, but when that is the whole plot device and we have to sit through it again and again it just gets irritating. If they actually wrote a story around this idea then maybe it wouldn’t be so annoying. But there isn’t one. It’s just some crappy characters becoming unexpected zombies who spend half the film hanging out together not realising their condition, and the other half hanging out still not really doing anything but this time with an army private who has the same condition.

I guess they were trying to go for the ‘Return of the Living Dead’ comedy angle, but the film it really reminded me of was Idle Hands. And that’s a shame as I quite like that movie, but I don’t want to be reminded of this plotless borefest the next time I watch that.

OK, the acting is actually pretty good for a low budget film, there are a couple of genuinely funny moments, and having one unique idea is better than none, I suppose. But surely there needs to be something more to fill out a whole film? Hell, there’s not even any nudity or any real gore? Seriously, what’s the point of that?

Gore Score D
Norks Score F
Originality Score B
Overall Score D-

Zombie Movie Review: Dance of the Dead

This film is showing on Netflix Instant US. Visit Blog of the Living Dead for details.

vector image for zombie movie Dance of the Dead

“You get the machete”
“But I don’t know how to shoot a machete.”

Ah another day another zombie comedy.  Dance of the Dead has been on my radar for months having heard all the praise lavished on it following its showing at the South By Southwest festival earlier in the year.  So how does it actually stand up against all the hype?

More-or-less set during a single day (which is surprisingly common for zombie films, unlike most mainstream movies) Dance of the Dead follows a bunch of highly cliche schoolkids as they try to survive the unoriginal zombie attack on their school.  Having been raised from the dead (presumably due to the nearby nuclear power-station) on the evening of the high-school prom, the zombie plague ravages the little town, finally converging on the school.  The Sci-fi club were naturally too nerdy to get dates to this event, but were unfortunately stupid enough to be spending their evening playing Ghostbusters in the nearby cemetery during the zombie uprising.  They have to group together to find all their fellow dateless losers and formulate a plan to come to the rescue of the prom guests.

Pure wish-fulfilment fantasy from start to finish, Dance of the Dead might well have been a script John Hughes accidentally misplaced in the 80′s and rediscovered in 2008.  Losers talking back to teachers, Nerds rescuing cheerleaders, schools exploding, kids saving the day… all this harks back to the glory-days of teen cinema.  The actors here actually are the age they’re playing, the jokes are brilliant and not just tacked on, and the horror is played straight giving the perfect example of how to pitch a horror-comedy.

There are some great scenes here, in particular the grave-rising which reminded me of the motorcycle zombie scene from Dellamorte Dellamore (as did the gravekeeper).  Also we have zombies who actually call for “braaaiiins!” (which is strangely a stereotype that is almost never seen in zombie films), and a cheerleader who turns undead at a particularly unfortunate moment for the geek she is about to ‘romance’.

I found this a great addition to the zombie genre.  Sure, it’s ludicrously unoriginal as everything in this whole film has been done over-and-over elsewhere, but who cares?  It was genuinely funny and brilliantly acted, and the whole package was top class.  I hope that one day people look back on this movie with the same fondness we give to Return of the Living Dead.

Gore Score B-
Norks Score F
Originality Score D
Overall Score A-

Zombie Movie Review: Dawn Of The Dead

Vector image for zombie movie Dawn of the Dead

Yes, this makes it 2 mainstream (more or less) Zombie films in a row, and yes both are Romero, but i’ve had the Ultimate Edition box set of Dawn for a few weeks now, and it’s just been sat next to the TV just calling to me, so I had to oblige.

There isn’t much to say about this that hasn’t already been said. 4 characters, all of whom are highly annoying shack up in a shopping mall and live in a stockroom above the stores. Occasionally they nip down and get into some stupid trouble that could have been easily avoidable by not dicking around in the shops, but they do it again and again, leading to half of them being eaten by Zombies and coming back from the dead. If the Zombies weren’t troublesome enough, Tom Savini and some biker mates break into the mall and trash the place, and then either get eaten by the zombies or killed off by the remaining annoying survivors. To cap it all off the zombies get into the stockroom so the few who are left have to escape by helicopter.

The gore is pretty stupid looking, even by 70′s standards. The blood looks like bright red melted crayons, and the zombies are a weird blue-green colour. Nonetheless, despite the bizarre style of the gore it is still highly impressive, with loads of genius effects in there. Helicopter decapitations, machete’s to the face, exploding heads, and gunshots wounds a plenty. Tom Savini surely is the Lord of Gore, as he goes on to prove in later films, (the superior Day of the Dead as an obvious example).

Obviously this is a quality film, with unmistakable comments about the pointlessness and indeed the danger of consumerism. However, if I were trapped in a shopping mall to live out my days i’d probably do the same. I mean, all the shops are unlocked and there is plenty of cool gadgets to play with in there! It’d be pretty awesome, I reckon.

Gore Score 3\5
Norks Score 0\5
Overall Score 5\5

As part of this box set the European Argento cut of Dawn is included which i’m looking forward to watching. That will get it’s own entry I think. However, I feel the need to go back to the underground for my next Zombie flick. I wonder what i’ll pick?

Zombie Movie Review: Diary Of The Dead

This film is showing on Netflix Instant US. Visit Blog of the Living Dead for details.

Vector image for zombie movie Diary of the Dead

Back in November ’07 I had the privilage of attending the Film Four all-night frightfest, the highlight of which (for me anyway) was the UK premier, (and possibly only 6th showing in the world) of the new George A Romero film: Diary of the Dead. In attendance was George himself, who gave a talk before and after the showing of the film as well as taking time out to chat to fans and sign autographs.

Watching horror films in the company of a room full of horror geeks is quite a good laugh, i’d recommend it to everyone. The whole audience laughs at the right places, clap at particularly special moments and all together joke around with each other in a manner that you just wouldn’t get if you saw the same films in a regular cinema.

However, it was not just this great atmosphere that caused me to enjoy this film, but the quality of the film itself. I initially had low expectations for it due to the poor Land of the Dead, but after the first zombies start to appear (rising up from an ambulance gurney outside a crime scene) all was forgiven.

The film follows a group of teen filmmakers as they try to escape the impending zombie apocalypse, while taking turns at filming the ongoing chaos. Set mostly on the road, it avoids the single location of previous Romero films (excluding the polished turd that is LOTD), instead the group drive from one zombie territory to another, taking in Hospitals, Mansions and farm buildings on their way, meeting up with various characters at each stop. As will doubtless be talked about in the future, the “Mute Amish Guy” is a highlight character that they stumble across.

The Hand Held POV style was perfectly suited to this film, as it fits with the whole social commentary aspect that Romero bases his Living Dead films around – in this case as a response to the seeming unending number of amateur reporters and journalists that have sprung up all over the Internet, through Blogs, Facebook, Myspace and Youtube, each providing their own version of the ‘truth’.

Obviously for Romero the death scenes for the Zombies are fantastic. I don’t want to spoil too much here, but this film can take the award for ‘most unexpected death using a Scythe’, as well as the ‘grossest ever use of a Debribulator’ medal hands down.

Yes, POV style films seem to be all the rage these days, with Cloverfield, Zombie Diaries, [REC] and Paranormal Activity among others, and Romero will doubtless be accused of ripping off Blair Witch, but hey that film totally ripped off Cannibal Holocaust anyway, and it’s not like nobody has ever ripped off a Romero film, eh?

The only bad parts of this film that I could even find are that the Professor who accompanies them on their trek comes from Portsmouth, UK (as if any intelligent person could ever come from Portsmouth, but he is a drunk so they got that part right at least), and the fact that Romero still isn’t putting any Norks in his zombie films. Come on George. Shame on you.

Gore Score 4\5
Nork Score 0\5
Overall Score 5\5

Just try and stop me from visiting my local cinema to watch this again finally released.

Zombie Movie Review: Astro Zombies

Vector image for zombie movie Astro Zombies

Astro Zombies
I recently took a week off work, purely because I’ve just accrued loads and have to use it up, so what better way to spend a week off than to watch some of my back catalogue of films that even my Hammer Horror loving flatmate wouldn’t want to watch. Yes, that means the proper trashy Zombie flicks were wheeled out for my amusement, starting with the Astro Zombies.

Amazingly, this 60s trash came out in the same year as Night of the Living Dead (1968 ) but the two couldn’t possibly be further apart in every other respect. Huge long 10 minute scenes of nothing but people driving, or silently pressing buttons in a laboratory, a CIA ‘investigation’, the sole place in the film is for 2 CIA agents to be killed and nothing more, a mad scientist and his hunchbacked mute assistant (very original). And the Zombies. Oh yes, solar powered robot zombies. Bodged together from artificial organs and recently dead murderers, and powered by light. Well, Zombies is pushing it a bit. There is only one ‘zombie’ (until the 2nd comes to life at the very end) with a head that is clearly a cheap 50′s alien mask who runs around and kills people. Quite brilliantly in one scene the Zombie battery pack comes loose during a fight, so he has to hold a flashlight up to his forehead solar panel and run away, holding the torch against his face the whole time!

Although starting out slow, (very slow) as the film continued, and my wine bottle emptied I started loving this flick. All the poses that Tura Satana makes, every scene with the Astro Zombie, and even the stupid gore at the end (which actually includes a decapitation) were pure trashy awesome-ness. If Night of the Living Dead hadn’t come along at exactly the same time this film is what all Zombie films may have turned out like.
Actually probably not, but hey.

Gore Score – 2\5
Nork Score – 2\5 (oh yes, even Astro Zombies shows Norks.)
Overall Score – 3.5\5