Zombie Movie Review: I, Zombie : A Chronicle Of Pain

Vector Image for I Zombie movie
The Christmas and New Year festivities have drawn to a close, and i’m back at my flat with a bottle of wine, pizza and a whole day to kill before my next day at work.  What better way to spend the day than to take those ingredients and pick a film to watch that i’ve never really had the opportunity to see.

I have had this DVD still wrapped up in cellophane for several months without a decent occasion to check it out.  The suggestion to watch a film that I have heard described as the ‘most relentlessly depressing film of all time’ doesn’t usually go down well, but I am glad I checked it out when I did.
The story revolves around a PHD student (in some science course or another) being bitten by a zombie while out collecting field samples.  While still compos-mentis he decides to kill a few people to eat, and then rent his own flat somewhere in London where he can (somehow) bring back chloroformed victims to feast on once a week.
From then on he spends his time having hunger fits, having dreams of his ex girlfriend, and giving himself a few wanks.  (As you do).  Of course he goes out and gets people to eat back to his house.  He does only appear to eat small parts of these victims, such as their chest or their face, but there is no mention of how he disposes of the remains, apart from burning their clothes.  I assume he just eats the whole lot.  Waste not want not, I suppose.  All the while he is recording his ongoing rotting (in both a physical and mental sense) on dictaphone and notebooks.  Once a scientist always a scientist, eh?

There are some great scenes here, such as when he breaks his leg dragging a corpse, so makes his own splint by drilling a metal bracket into his shin. (I particularly enjoyed how it was filmed – just as the drill is about to enter his flesh the camera pans away to avoid distressing the audience, only to settle on a mirror next to him so you can still clearly see what’s going on), and when the old wives tale regarding too much masturbation actually comes true.

The whole film is a rather unsubtle metaphor for drug addiction, with the withdrawal symptoms and need to feed his habit every few days, but even so was not as depressing as I had been led to expect.  It is certainly not a date film or a film to watch if you’re looking for a laugh, but definitely worth checking out as it is possibly the only film I can think of that is from the point of view of the Zombie.
Bonus points for the nice minimalist piano soundtrack and some first class zombie makeup effects.

Gore Score 3.5\5  (Fantastic makeup effects, but no real flesh munching gore).
Nork Score 0\5 (A girl starts to take her top off, but he tells her not to?!?  That’s pretty crazy).
Overall Score 3.5\5