Now I love my crazy 80’s cock-rock metal and obviously I love my Zombie films, so what better film could there be for me than Hard Rock Zombies? As it turns out, most films actually.
A band of terrible Poison wannabees book into play some city (named ‘Grand Guignol’ I kid you not) but get murdered by the crazy locals, and then return as Zombies to get revenge and to play the gig as planned.
This is a shocking, shocking piece of cinema, but one that falls so close to the ‘so bad it’s actually good’ line that I am at a loss as to whether I actually enjoyed it or not. Seriously, I came away from it not on the fence, but genuinely confused.
It has so many genius moments here, with an old German man turning out to have been Hitler in disguise all along, accompanied by Eva Braun – who is a werewolf for some reason, 2 midgets who may or may not be playing Children – one of whom sits at a table and devours himself piece by piece (including eating his own face) and the other who leaps ontop of a cow and tries to eat it alive. – Plus rock music so boring that literally raises the dead.
And yet… Some films are rubbish because they just can’t help it, but with this one I just don’t know how to take it. Do I think of it as a bad film that is highly watchable because of the cheese, or do I think that it is just a contrived pile of nonsense that is trying way too hard to be funny?
You tell me. I certainly laughed a fair amount during it, so I guess that’s a plus.
Gore Score – 3\5
Norks Score – 2\5
Overall Score – 1\5 or 4\5, depending on your point of view. (even if it is great it’d never have gotten a 5 anyway. I do have some standards).