Zombie Movie Review: Zombie Nightmare

Vector for movie Zombie Nightmare

Vector for movie Zombie Nightmare

Oh my. This is what happens when I decide to move away from mainstream zombie films and venture into the dark underbelly of crappy 80’s horror. This film was so ludicrously bad that I naturally loved it straight away.

Starring none other than the always awesome Jon Mikl Thor and an incredibly hammy Adam West, Zombie Nightmare starts off with a random murder which may or may not have happened sometime on the past. (It is never explained). Then cut to the present day(?), and Mummy’s boy Thor goes off shopping for the family groceries, baseball bat in hand. After saving the shopkeeper from some random ruffians he is duly rewarded upon leaving the store by being run over and killed by a bunch of teenagers. Naturally the shopkeeper does the obvious thing, and takes the corpse of Thor back to his mothers house, and dumps him on her lawn. The mother, not best pleased about her giant son being killed sends for the village voodoo priestess, who brings Thor back from the dead and sends him off on a revenge mission to take out the kids who killed him.

During all this fun and games, the kids are off being disgraceful, such as getting thrown out of nightclubs and hassling ladies. “I’m old enough to be your older sister” is possibly the best put-down I have ever heard uttered in any film. Ever.

Sure, Thor being the Zombie that he is (still sporting the same 80’s fashion he was wearing when killed, but now having gone from long blond hair to short dark mop-top with special bald-spot for no apparent reason) manages to track down these kids, and using his super strength snaps their necks, or impales them on his baseball bat.

Adam West does turn up every so often, as a cliche cigar smoking police chief. He manages to work out the whole plot, and meets up with the Voodoo lady and a graveyard. Here the woman explains the whole back-story part of the film, but it’s in such a bad OTT Haitian accent that it is impossible to actually make out what she was saying, but it had something to do with Adam West having done something or other in the past that may or may not have been related to the opening scene. Who knows. Anyway, Adam does a big Zombies=bad speech, gets grabbed by a new zombie summoned by the priestess, and gets pulled into a glowing red grave. The end.

There is pretty much no gore, certainly no norks whatsoever, and everything from the directing to the acting are pure bottom drawer. However, unlike Hard Rock Zombies, this film was genuinely trying to be a good movie but failed utterly. If ever you have wanted to see a perfect example of ‘So bad that it is awesome’ then this film is it. Utter Utter trash.

Gore Score 0\5
Norks Score 0\5
Overall Score 4\5

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One response to “Zombie Movie Review: Zombie Nightmare

  1. Will check it out some time. You need audio clips. Bad movie dialog is all about diction. A diction that people like Will Ferrel would kill for. Your average American comedic actor hasn’t ever read a line like the actors in a movie like Pieces.

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