Zombie Movie Review: The Ghost Galleon

(Also posted at http://www.revenantmagazine.com/)

Vector Image for zombie movie The Ghost Galleon

Vector Image for zombie movie The Ghost Galleon

AKA Horror Of The Zombies

Yeah, mid-way through another well deserved week off work but the only Zombie film i’ve managed to get through is this number, the 3rd in the Blind Dead quadrilogy.  I really should try harder.  Well, there are still several days left to fill with zombie crud!

The Ghost Galleon – When even the box of a film says it is considered a ‘surprising’ film warning bells should really start to sound.  Whereas the first 2 Blind Dead films take place around atmospheric ruined medieval cities this particular entry involves an obviously fake miniature galleon ship, which I assume we are supposed to believe is a full size vessel.

A couple of bikini-clad ladies involved in some marketing scam of some sort are left adrift in a little powerboat for about a month apparently, and although they do not seem to have any supplies on-board they seem perfectly happy, spending their time chatting on their radio to their bosses on the shore somewhere.  However a mysterious fog from another dimension sweeps over them and they crash into the ghostly galleon.  Sensibly, one of the ladies decides that an abandoned and ancient rotting sailboat is a better place to wait out the rescue, so she climbs aboard never to be seen again, (although we do hear her screaming for a bit).  Her girly companion decided to remain on the smaller boat and doesn’t hear the screaming, but then still decides to go aboard to investigate later.

Oh yes, the Templar knights are aboard this boat for some reason. In traditional Blind Dead style they spend 10 minutes slowly rising from their coffins before slowly chasing the girl around the ship.  That’s pretty much it.  Her friends and boss from the shore do fly out to the ship to try to find them and manage to locate the inter-dimensional galleon, but it all ends badly for most of them as you would expect.

I don’t really want to spoil the ending here, but the ship burns down and the survivors float to shore, although the Zombie have followed them…  Actually, that was the ending.  Still, this review makes it sound like slightly more happens in this movie than really does.  Zombies slowly chase women.  Women die.  Ship burns.  People escape.  Zombies escape too, ready for film number 4.

Easily the most boring entry into the series so far (i’m yet to see #4 though).  The gore is practically non-existent, there are no norks on show despite the overabundance of bikini clad ladies, and the plot is equally as desolate.  Still, it’s always good to see  Skeletor and friends in action, and the film did keep me watching for some reason.  I just wonder if the final film finishes the series on a high.

Gore Score D
Norks Score F
Originality Score C
Overall Score C-

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