Do you get tired of watching decent zombies movies? Do you ever have a hankering for something incredibly slow, dull and lacking in actual zombies? Well the search is over; Dead and Gone will fulfil that dream several times over.
Now you may well ask “What could possibly be boring about a movie that follows a bloke as he goes about his life in a small cabin in the forest with only his coma wife and his daydreams for an hour and a half”? Well as hard as it is to believe such a thrilling premise could yield a snooze-fest, incredibly it does.
Now there are some moments of excitement here, to be fair. This man goes for a jog a couple of times, he chops some wood and he even goes fishing with a lady cop! OK calm yourself, you heard me correct. Not one but TWO jogs! So, what is the reasoning for all this action then? Well this dude has taken his wife out of hospital and moved into a little cabin in a forest clearing. She’s in a coma and hooked up to life support machinery, and this man kind of looks after her. Well, he was looking after her, but this action-packed life of his is taking its toll and he’s starting to daydream. His wife appears to him in these visions and slags him off for whatever reason, and this sort of makes him go a bit mad. So mad in fact that he kills some people and starts nobbing his police lady friend. (Which is easily the one good scene in the film). Having gone mad his hallucinations start to occur more frequently, and the people he’s killed off start appearing in them as zombies and taunting him some more.
Now, that may sound interesting but the deaths are of the worst variety; for example he swings an axe towards the camera, some blood sprays into shot and then it cuts to a head rolling across the ground. *yawn*. Show the death, don’t wimp out, is it really that hard? Sure they do try once or twice by having an obviously fake body facing motionlessly away from the camera and the dude will ‘decapitate’ it with a spade (or whatever is at hand), which is about as technical as putting a coat over a bar stool and balancing a watermelon in a wig on on-top and then whacking it off with a plank.
So there you have it. 95% of the film is utterly boring and during the 5% where some excitement actually happens it’s done so insultingly and unimaginatively badly it’s almost worse than the tedium of the rest of the movie. If it weren’t for the lady cop briefly whopping her norks there would not be one good thing about this film. It’s a shame really as the lead chap isn’t a particularly bad actor, but – much like his movie wife – he’s just been given a lifeless duffer to work with.
Gore Score D-
Norks Score C
Originality Score D-
Overall Score D-